


Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

by CalicoPudding



Series: trash-by-vogue's prompts [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Implied Relationships, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 15:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6992515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalicoPudding/pseuds/CalicoPudding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto's going away after graduation, Akaashi doesn't want him to leave</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

It’s not happening, it can’t be, he isn’t ready, he thought he had more time. They had more time, there’s no way it’s gone already. Two years isn’t enough, it’s nowhere near enough. Two years of gentle smiles and even gentler hugs. Two years of movie marathons and forehead kisses, of volleyball practice and study sessions. Two years of competitions, training camps, praises for a job well done, and silent communication in a fraction of a second.

Two years isn’t enough. They were stupid to think it would be.

Neither of them are saying anything, but their silence is interrupted by quiet sniffles. Bokuto’s never seen him cry before, not during that sad movie where the dog died, or when he fell and hurt his ankle. But he’s crying now, and Bokuto has no idea what he’s supposed to do. He wants to cry to, but Akaashi cried first, he can’t cry now, not when his Akaashi, his strong, beautiful, lovely Akaashi is crying. 

So he holds onto him, not saying anything about the uncomfortable death grip Akaashi has on his jacket. It’s irrational, they both know it. But they also know how long distance relationships work. And Bokuto’s going off to some other country to study. And Akaashi can’t go with him. It’s irrational to beg him to stay, irrational and Akaashi is anything but. Bokuto holds him anyways, knows that Akaashi will say those things, and more, and he’ll have no choice but to deny him. He’s never been able to deny Akaashi anything, if only because Akaashi very rarely asks him for anything. He gives, and he anchors Bokuto without issue, makes him calm, keeps him safe from himself, and Akaashi rarely asks for anything. 

And Bokuto can’t give him the thing he really truly wants.

“Keiji,” he tries, ducking his head to rest against his love’s shoulder, twining his fingers into Akaashi’s hair.

“No,” Akaashi says instead, “Please, no.”

“Keiji, it’s not for always,” he whispers, willing away his own tears.

“I love you.”

Rarely does he say that, outright anyways. Akaashi says it with a soft kiss in the morning, or with a ‘good job’ during practice. Bokuto can count on his hands the times Akaashi has verbally spoken the words ‘I love you’.

And then he is crying, crying into Akaashi’s shoulder and hugging him closer, tighter.

“I know, I know, I love you so much.”

“Don’t-” Akaashi stops himself from saying ‘don’t go’ but it’s in the air, he wants to say it. But Bokuto got accepted into a program, a good one whose purpose escapes Akaashi’s mind because he doesn’t want to know anything about it. Bokuto has to go. He has to. Akaashi can’t take that from him. 

“I love you,” he says again.   



End file.
